Whenever I meet a fellow mom, I feel like I’ve struck gold, since I know that during 20 minutes of chatting, they’ll probably end up dropping a legit helpful parenting hack. On that note, I asked a few parents their tried-and-true tips, and here’s what they said…

Something I’ve learned myself:

1. Always keep small trash bags on hand — in your car, in the stroller, in your bag. Diaper blow-outs happen when you least expect it, and having a having a bag to throw it in when there are no trash cans available lowers stress levels by 1000%.

From Angela:

2. When our children are within earshot, my husband and I will let them overhear us talking about them in a good way. I’ll call out something like ‘Did you notice how Alo tried hard to put on his shoes this morning?’ or ‘Did you notice that Talula created an art piece today?’ Kids love hearing you brag about them!

From Miranda:

3. Bibliotherapy is great for young children, of course — like prepping a preschooler for a new baby with picture books — but there are wonderful chapter books out there, too. If your nine-year-old is struggling with a dyslexia diagnosis (Fish In a Tree), or your 10-year-old has a chronic illness (Not Quite a Ghost), or your 12-year-old is grieving a family member (Show Me A Sign), books can open up conversations about hard things and help your kid feel less alone.

4. My partner and I say ‘thank you’ to each other for making dinner, and now our children do, too. It goes a long way towards making me feel warm and fuzzy, and also helps them to understand the care and labor that goes into putting food on the table every night.

From Destini:

5. As parents, we try to stay calm, but you don’t need to be perfectly regulated when parenting. Narrating your emotions out loud — like saying, ‘I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m taking a deep breath before I speak’ — helps your child learn what to do with big feelings. Kids can see how regulation works in real life and realize that emotions aren’t scary or something to suppress; they’re just signals to slow down and make a choice.

From Mo:

6. Give your child a responsibility that helps the whole family. If they’re older, that could be running to the corner store to get a pint of ice cream for dessert. For younger ones, that could be watering the garden. Every time I do this with my kids, they crush it and remind me how capable they are. It’s also important for kids to feel like they’re contributing to the success of the whole family.

7. If you have a larger family, keep things as simple as possible. Our four kids have assigned seats at the table so there’s no squabbling over who sits where, and the tooth fairy leaves $1 for every tooth (even though she really wanted to add sparkles and a note!).

From Laurel:

8. My kids (four and six) and I discovered the Magic Woods podcast last year, and it’s beautiful, funny and weird. There are a zillion episodes, all with the same characters, telling one super long story. The creator’s voice is soothing, and he does different voices for all the animals.

From Youngna:

9. I recently took my nine-year-old to a store to find an outfit for a recital. Between hand-me-downs and COVID, she’d never been clothes shopping in person, so trying on clothes in a dressing room felt thrilling. It reminded me that everything can be novel to a kid; it doesn’t have to be some big adventure.

From Ruth:

10. When I feel like I’ve been spending an eternity with my kid and I’m counting the minutes until her nap time so I can go do the laundry/finish the email/go pee, I physically get down to her level and watch her. I look at her eyelashes as she’s searching for a banana car on the page of a book. I watch her mouth make funny shapes as she figures out how to get a sticker off a table. I see her toes curl and uncurl as she reaches for something. Or I’ll realize how much her nose looks just like mine. Being in those moments helps me remember that — sure, there’s a lot to do, and this is just another day out of thousands — but seeing my kid engaging with the world (and me!) in all these little ways is a pretty incredible thing.

Thank you so much, parents. What would you add?

P.S. More surprising parenting tips and trying out slow parenting.

(Top photo by Diane Durongpisitkul/Stocksy. Bottom photo by Jannelle Sanchez.)